Parenting Against the Grain
Some parents rebel with no curfews. You rebel by saying, “No thanks, my kid doesn’t need a tablet at dinner.” Honestly? That’s the cooler choice.
If you’ve ever felt like the only family trying to slow things down, breathe, play in nature, or raise emotionally intelligent kids… congratulations. You’re already quietly pushing back on a culture that wants children fast, busy, distracted, and disconnected. Here are five simple, meaningful ways to keep going gently, bravely, and with a little wink at the system.
1. Protect Unstructured Play Time
Research in Pediatrics consistently shows that free play improves emotional development and problem-solving. Which means boredom is not a failure, it’s a gift. In our home, we try to limit ourselves to one activity each day. We don’t do a birthday party in the morning, gymnastics at 1, swim lessons at 4, and a sleepover that night. We choose activities in our calendar with great intention to nourish interests and hobbies while also protecting that open time at home. Kids don’t need five extracurriculars to be “successful.” One or two things they truly love? Gold. A simple schedule is a good schedule.
2. Treat Nature Like a Classroom
Outdoor time teaches bravery, balance, patience, and wonder. Screen time can’t compete with that. Anytime you find yourself with free time at the same time as you kid(s), head outside! Take a family walk, hangout at a park, do an animal search, try to find every color of the rainbow in your back yard. Just get outside, regardless of the weather, and learn from the world around you.
3. Teach Emotional Language Early
Feelings aren’t “too much.” They’re human. They’re also learnable and when kids can name them, they can manage them. Use honest language to describe your feelings and narrate as you work through them. “Mommy is feeling frustrated right now because the dryer didn’t finish drying the clothes and my favorite shirt is in there. I wanted to wear that today. I’m disappointed that I can’t wear what I want, frustrated that my plan didn’t work, and I need a minute alone to breathe and calm my body.”
4. Question the Over culture (Out Loud)
“Does this make our family feel good?” Ask it often. Let your kids hear you. You’re modeling an acknowledgement that it’s easy to get swept into things and the importance of taking a moment to pause and be intentional about your choices and the way they serve your life.
5. Value Experiences Over Stuff
Choosing connection and experiences over consumption is a quiet revolution. Rather than an Amazon wish list for birthdays or holidays, consider sharing a class that your child would like to try or experience they would like to have. Consider: archery summer camp, swim lessons, a season pass to a zoo or local theatre company. You could even choose something that you can do together. Perhaps you both sign up for a woodworking class and pursue that hobby jointly. You could even work on MBM together through Pause & Play Yoga. Whatever you choose keeps your dollars local, enriches your life through skill development, and protects time to do something memorable.